Fuckity fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Shit shit shit shit shit. Fuck.

She talked to me… And yeah. I’m a jerk. Fucking wastedddddddddddddddddddddddd. I should stop. Ok.

So fcking shitty that I have this massive crush on this person and she’s really close to me and stuff. And she follows my blog now because I’m stupid and clumsy.

Not blaming you B, but darn it.

Anyway, a certain friend gave me a tip about the incident with my other friend. That I should wait. I’M TRYING SO FUCKING HARD, MAN. I’m healthy as of this moment, I have a purple shirt, but what the fuck am I saying. I miss my friend. I’m so confused. It hurts me deep down, I feel like my poetry is going down the sinker because I’m feeling too much and I lost my sense of thinking.

myedol:

Black Marker Mural by Yosuke Goda

Two years back then… I met a girl in a public utility vehicle (hahaha, so tacky)

Anyway, she was smiling, seemingly happy while I was sad. She was so cute, I thought. I kind of felt I owe myself such joy. Maybe. So I said hi. It was tacky. 

Haha

It was not a fool-proof plan. She smiled even more, it made me smile. And yes, I look like an idiot when I smile but I did. I was aware of it. My smile that time was accidental. I didn’t put it on my face because I know I’d look stupid. Anyway, that’s the introduction of what supposedly is a really good story. Of friendship.

Then came love.

This isn’t supposed to be an issue, but I feel like I’m losing her. If it makes things better, I only want her to come back as a friend (at least) just as long as she stays. 

It’s kind of late now. She’s with someone else and a part of me says that I should’ve been honest since the beginning. The moral of the story?

“Oh well” is better than “what if”

You fall down

You get back up because you want to get back up, not because you want to prove them that you still can. Or maybe you want to prove them, but in the long run you realize that it’s not worth it because you’re getting back up—you fight back because you do it for them. You get back up because you want to. Just like in a race, you’re there to win for yourself, you’re not there to win for others. 

That’s why I’m failing. I think. Ok, new mindset. Damn.

Facts:

1: I look dead

2: They used to call me dead-kid 

3: It’s supposed to be offensive

4: I don’t really care

5: I mean, it’s sad how they come up with 2nd hand jokes like that

Hahahaha. What the fuck?

Yeah? You’re worth it, still.